@ 10:08 PM

It is real cold today. Drizzling for the whole day. Went out without an umbrealla. Sort of want to drench myself, but the rain wasn't heavy enough. Instead drench myself with tears. Honestly it's been a effing long time since i last cried like nobody business like this. To the extent my eyes are all swollen, my head bursting, my throat tightening. In short the whole head of mine is now a useless piece of human organ, in a sense that it is hurting like crap. Unsure if physical pain or emotional pain is more unbearable.

Today sort of understand why so many people commit suicide. That effing overwhelming hopelessness confusion helplessness on the verge of breaking down u dont even know what to do and mess everything up. Feel like the whole world is chasing after you hot on your heels waiting to take you down.

I just wanted to die, to end it all.

What an enlightment...

So much irony. So many unwanted feelings. Words without action are hateful and disturbing.

An effing negative entry.

@ 10:08 PM

It is real cold today. Drizzling for the whole day. Went out without an umbrealla. Sort of want to drench myself, but the rain wasn't heavy enough. Instead drench myself with tears. Honestly it's been a effing long time since i last cried like nobody business like this. To the extent my eyes are all swollen, my head bursting, my throat tightening. In short the whole head of mine is now a useless piece of human organ, in a sense that it is hurting like crap. Unsure if physical pain or emotional pain is more unbearable.

Today sort of understand why so many people commit suicide. That effing overwhelming hopelessness confusion helplessness on the verge of breaking down u dont even know what to do and mess everything up. Feel like the whole world is chasing after you hot on your heels waiting to take you down.

I just wanted to die, to end it all.

What an enlightment...

So much irony. So many unwanted feelings. Words without action are hateful and disturbing.

An effing negative entry.