@ 11:20 PM

I have forgotten the habit of thinking. A invisible process of erosion has occurred..somehow..all those years, shld be more mature, and yet the other way round...is it true that the more make up you put on, the less brain cells you've got? the bigger your wardrobe, the lesser your capacity to think???

at the age of 16, 17...it troubled me soo much that i unable to sleep thinking abt problem. it was almost impossible to let go or to forget momentarily. and now it cant bother me much. the older i get, the weaker i become.

i cant get the kind of support i need, neither can i give the needed support to people. most of the time when i never think abt it, it seems perfectly normal. but when it come, it is just so obvious. but the jolt might not be strong enough to jerk me out of this decaying process... yet change seems impossible..avoidance seems to be the best bet.

unfulfilled. yet unable to fulfill. what shit is this?

what is my value? shouldn't it be the question to ask myself a few years ago, at the age of puberty half teenager half adult?

without value, it is hard to judge life.

life is not something i can google or yahoo for an answer. if only everything is as straightforward as textbook and exams.

@ 11:20 PM

I have forgotten the habit of thinking. A invisible process of erosion has occurred..somehow..all those years, shld be more mature, and yet the other way round...is it true that the more make up you put on, the less brain cells you've got? the bigger your wardrobe, the lesser your capacity to think???

at the age of 16, 17...it troubled me soo much that i unable to sleep thinking abt problem. it was almost impossible to let go or to forget momentarily. and now it cant bother me much. the older i get, the weaker i become.

i cant get the kind of support i need, neither can i give the needed support to people. most of the time when i never think abt it, it seems perfectly normal. but when it come, it is just so obvious. but the jolt might not be strong enough to jerk me out of this decaying process... yet change seems impossible..avoidance seems to be the best bet.

unfulfilled. yet unable to fulfill. what shit is this?

what is my value? shouldn't it be the question to ask myself a few years ago, at the age of puberty half teenager half adult?

without value, it is hard to judge life.

life is not something i can google or yahoo for an answer. if only everything is as straightforward as textbook and exams.